So Michael has a daily planner from school that I have to sign. The other day I said, "Michael I forgot to sign your planner." Imagine my surprise when Michael says, "Don't worry about it, I signed it for you."
What??? I look and this is what I see... Michael's version of my signature. You can see my real signature above where the teacher put a star next to it.
The other day, before I came downstairs, I had a conversation with my six year old, Michael, about staying in bed, not getting up to follow me.
I go downstairs and I’m there for about 5 minutes when I think I hear something behind me. I look and see nothing. I turn around and continue my thing, when I hear something again. This time I took a chance and said, without turning around, ”Michael come here.” Sure enough, Michael appears from around the corner. He looks at me smiling. I’m trying to look stern but he’s so CUTE.
He smiles and says, ”Mom, at school when no one was looking, I practiced my sneaking and it worked like magic.”
Michael: "Mom, is there a bone in my penis?"
Me thinking: OH CRAP! "No honey, there is no bone in your penis. Your penis is a muscle**."
Yes, I know it is not technically a muscle, but it's the easiest way to explain it to Michael.
Michael: "How can it be a muscle if there is no bone there?"
A long time ago I told him that we have muscles around our arm and leg bones.
Damn! I should've been a doctor. This kids wants to know stuff I don't know about.
**Since then, I have found out that it's more like a sponge that fills up with blood. Not sure I wanted to know that, but for my boys, I'll do anything. I mean... I touch spiders now for Goodness' Sake!!!
After I ordered my food at the Taco Bell drive thru tonight, my food was handed to me by a very polite and lovely young man; a very flaming, gay young man (not that there's anything wrong with that - whatever and whomever floats his... boat).
(I'm fairly sure I am not wrong on this, even though it sounds... sexist (?))
--- Why should us straight people be the only ones to suffer through marriage? ---
As we are driving away, Michael was confused, "Mom, was that a boy or a girl?"
I just burst out laughing because he is so perceptive. I said, "That was a boy honey."
He left it at that.
Man... I'm glad I did not have to explain anything to him. I don't think I'd know how to.